6:22 p.m. - 30 October 2006
The whole truth
Yes, I still live. The end.
Actually no. Right now I'm kicking back and relaxing before I go and hide away at the library to study for my chemistry test on Friday @_@
Yikes!
But really, here is the thing. Last Friday was the last day to drop a class for this semester. You want to know what I did? I went to my new advisor (long story) and asked to be dropped from O. Chem. Yeah...
Now, here is the thing. I just need a D in the class to graduate. Right now...I don't have a D. I'll just leave it at that.
What I was told and what I already knew even before going into the advisors office was this: without this class...I won't graduate.
The scary part of this whole situation was I was, and still am, considering taking 6 years out of my life and walking away without a degree. Logically, I know what that would mean.
In the end, the advisor signed the drop form but left the final decison up to me. It is now Monday and I'm preparing to take another test in this class.
Besides stressing over chemistry, which if you've been reading this diary over the past 6 years you will know that me and chemistry don't get a long very well, I'm also worried about my internship.
I applied for another Disney internship and had an interview back in September. I was told I would not hear one way or the other until December.
I know my parents are not reading this, or anyone I work with, but truthfully, I don't think I got the job. That scares me too because even if I do pass Chemsitry, I don't have a plan after 'graduation'. Right now, all I can see myself doing is working low paying jobs for the rest of my life...even with a degree. That scares me too.
I'm sure a lot of my problems has to do with being unsure of myself or what I want, but I'm scared. The closer to December things get the more scared I become and the closer to being an 'adutl' and on my own. I say 'adult' because in theory I'm suppose to have a real job and all that and I don't know where I will be.
So there you have it. A 25 year old who is scared of the future and unsure of herself. That is the whole point of this diary. Any psycology major, or anyone coming across this diary, could have figured that out a long time ago.
Well, I've waisted enough time tonight on things not related to chemistry. Time to go and hide and not surface until much later at night.
~*~Dream Dancer~*~
